Why People Cheat

Why People Cheat

Perhaps your partner recently cheated and you feel lost and confused.  They say they made a mistake and they love you.  Somehow you can’t believe their words and want to turn back time to happier days.  There is sound logic behind your feelings.

People often cheat because they are lacking confidence in love.  The cheater might not feel they are deserving of being in a committed relationship.  They may have been hurt in the past and subconsciously cheat, not because they want to hurt their partner, but because they want to hurt.  The cheater might enjoy the comfort of companionship and affection, but feel they deserve to be alone.  As such, they aren’t able to fully open their heart to love.

Frequently, cheating arises because there has been a communication breakdown.  If you want to avoid cheating both partners need to be honest with themselves first.  Do they want to be in this relationship?  If the answer is yes, then the next question must be “I’m a behaving a truly loving manner to my partner?’  Areas need to be explored where you can tweak your thoughts and behaviors to be more present in your relationships and more aware of their concerns and needs.  After you attend your thoughts, behaviors and actions, you can shift over to those of your lover.  Work to see things gently and lovingly through their perspective.  If you have a question, write it down and ask it directly to them the next time its appropriate to have a serious discussion.  By voicing your concerns and needs gently and honestly with your significant other you can correct missed signals that could potential lead one of you to cheat.

To avoid cheating find opportunities to reconnect with your partner.  This is especially important turning times of stress.  Love is not always fun, but it is vital to find moments together where you can grow together in joy.  By finding time to enjoy life together it can renewal both of your abilities to weather the storms as a unit.  Think of your relationship as a bank.  You can only withdraw funds so many times before some money needs to go back into your account.  Fun relationships adventures are like credits whereas the inevitable tough discussions and disagreements are like debits.  Make sure you both don’t overdraft or risk unnecessary penalties!

Respect must be the foundation of all relationships.  You both should want to truly see your lover happy, healthy and successful.  Cheating breaks trust in your union and tells your partner that you don’t respect them.  When one of you gets the urge to stray, you both must pull inward to look towards the love and respect you feel for your lover and your relationship.  Imagine the pain that could be caused by an infidelity.  Use that imagine to guide you away from the temptation and back to your paramour.  The ultimate deterrent to cheating is open, honest and loving communication.  If you feel like either you or your partner aren’t willing to work more open conversation and listening in your relationship, then it might be time for you to reevaluate the viability of your union.

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