Sometimes people that have to say no will get physically upset because they have to say this. Most people were raised to help others, and this is a self-sacrificial thing that many people were taught. This has been seen by example and by words and when some people have to say no, they worry about hurting or disappointing others.
Some people have said yes to so many things that they don’t know how to face that not everything should be done by them. They hear a voice inside that tells them to be helpful and to work through it, instead of listening to the voice that says, “you don’t have time for this.”
You can learn to listen to your small voice that tells you that you can say no and that you can do it in a respectful and loving way. This can help you to live a better life and can give you purpose.
It is okay for you to say no if you don’t want to do something, if you have something else to do, when you don’t have the time, when you feel forced, when it doesn’t make you feel good and when you want to do something else.
Why It’s Hard to Say No
Here are some of the biggest reasons that people have a hard time saying no:
Raise to Be Helpful
Many people were raised to help others, and this is something that is engrained in their mind. Sometimes though, you have to say no because you have to keep room open to take care of what you need in your own life.
Might Need Help
You might say yes because you know that you will need some kind of help sometime in your life. Instead of always saying yes, build up relationships that you connect with. When you need help, they will help you because they want to and not because you are a yes man.
I Might Look Bad
Some people won’t say no because they are afraid that they will look bad for not doing it. Here are some other things that people might think about saying no:
- They would rather please people.
- They don’t want to look like they are self-centered.
- They don’t want to make someone feel rejected.
- They don’t want to seem cold or offish.
- They are afraid of disappointing someone.
You don’t have to take care of everyone that you meet. You are responsible for you and for how you react and respond but not to say yes to everything that comes your way. You cannot manage what other people feel or think but you can still be kind when you say no.
You have to learn to set boundaries and to not always say yes to everything that comes before you.
How to Say No
There are ways that you can say no to someone without being rude. Here are some of the best ways:
Use Intuition
Pay attention to your intuition. Your inner voice will tell you if you should say yes or if you need to say no. You might have something important that you have to do and saying no will benefit your life. Listen to what your voice tells you.
It Doesn’t Have to Be You
Just because you don’t want to do something doesn’t mean that someone else won’t want to do it. You don’t have to save everyone and do everything. Let someone else fill in when you can’t do something. Let someone ask someone else to complete the task.
Saying No is Right
Instead of waiting or saying, “maybe,” learn to say no right away. If you don’t want to or can’t do something, just say no. Don’t beat around the bush with it.
If someone tries to sell you something and you don’t want it, say no. Don’t sit around and say yes for something that will take you more time to return later.
Think About It
If you aren’t sure if you can do something or not, tell the person that you need time to think it over. Then, think about it and decide if you can do it or not. Be honest about what you can and cannot do.
Be Truthful
Be truthful about what you are feeling. If there is something that you don’t feel right about doing, don’t do it. Decide about what you want to do when someone asks you and then tell them. You will feel better when you say what you really want to say.
Have Strength and Courage
You need to learn how to have strength and courage to say no when you don’t want to do something. It is your life and you have the right to choose what you want to do and what you don’t want to do.
Have courage to be who you want to be and to take time for what is important in your own life. If you are always saying yes, you will never get your own stuff completed.